tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91974002011-10-09T04:28:03.078+11:00This blog came into existence as a joking response to the fact that <a href="http://blogs.denverpost.com/coloradosundaze/">Claire Martin</a> was so much more successful at getting her name mentioned on <a href="http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/">Dave Barry's Blog</a> than the rest of his fan boys (including me). These days this where I stick copies of the funny, silly, crazy things that I either come across, or which are sent to me because people know I appreciate that sort of thing.wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.comBlogger4031100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-30718098462426106912009-12-11T12:22:00.002+11:002009-12-11T12:26:10.987+11:00

These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. FIRST & FOREMOST RULE 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-39983797674124821652009-09-03T09:33:00.000+10:002009-09-03T09:34:01.054+10:00

Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and eight or ten roosters, to fertilise the pullets' eggs. Trevor kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-51610903348074157162009-08-22T08:30:00.000+10:002009-08-22T08:31:43.255+10:00

I love these!I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.I don't understand the purpose of

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-46496917196402029812009-08-10T10:00:00.001+10:002009-08-10T10:02:14.681+10:00

My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'I said, 'Dust.'And then the fight started...******************************************My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?""No," she answered.I then said, "Is that your final answer?"She didn't even look at

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-76737344154809020842009-07-29T12:50:00.000+10:002009-07-29T12:51:28.930+10:00

"We are driving the bus of our own destiny. Of course, we lost the map, we're low on gas, and the restrooms need cleaning." - Bob Tzu, long lost American cousin of Lao Tzu.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-62328950829679638602009-07-26T09:12:00.002+10:002009-07-26T09:14:20.541+10:00

I think all my illusions about turtles being slow moving, inoffensive creatures were just destroyed by this clip.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-67629612313024112302009-07-21T07:07:00.001+10:002009-07-21T07:09:01.493+10:00

"In dwelling, live close to the ground. In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present."Lao TzuAs one of my sisters said: "Easy to quote, hard to live up to".

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-17388515818907581722009-07-21T07:05:00.002+10:002009-07-21T07:07:35.838+10:00

Never let it be said that they weren't an inspiration.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-16822411011480192922009-07-17T06:53:00.002+10:002009-07-17T07:03:36.888+10:00

This is a bit of fun.W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G.: Worker Yearning for Sabotage, Immediate Warfare and Yearly GratificationWhat tha....only Yearly?!?UPDATE:I see what the problem is now - I was using the wrong name generator.W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G.: Wonderful Your Stud Imparting Worship and Yummy Gratification

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-26903350296931910382009-07-14T07:16:00.001+10:002009-07-14T07:18:41.701+10:00

...for those with a more dominant attitude towards inter-personal communications:"When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape..."

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-57829432542027599122009-07-09T12:47:00.002+10:002009-07-09T12:50:15.553+10:00

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole keeps improving by the regular culling of the weakest members..In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-35818689643772048792009-07-05T13:48:00.003+10:002009-07-05T15:08:26.415+10:00

Some of my favourites from this site of some 7000-odd:I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-57111233149509267922009-06-14T19:36:00.003+10:002009-06-15T07:17:21.944+10:00

**UPDATE**It appears she's not as old as portrayed, she just turned 53-------------------------------------Written By Regina Brett ,90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:1. Life isn't fair,

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-27966082095574534672009-05-30T11:18:00.000+10:002009-05-30T11:20:53.987+10:00

With apologies to all the nationalities mentioned here, except my own...The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-27720287913669135032009-05-21T13:45:00.002+10:002009-05-21T13:48:42.115+10:00

(Reposted from the DB Blog)RunPee.comOperating like a sort of Wikipedia for the boring bits of films, it lets users nominate moments in films where the plot dawdles, and urination may safely take place. An approximate point in the film's running time is given for each pee-opportunity, along with a brief description of what you'll see onscreen when the toilet-window opens.Now all I need is the

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-62695631963566666552009-05-18T12:15:00.004+10:002009-05-18T12:19:24.558+10:00

...leads you to worry about all sorts of things....(via http://www.horacek.com.au/topic.htm)

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-57248682420981994872009-05-15T09:34:00.002+10:002009-05-15T09:35:04.832+10:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-52679517523638545732009-05-13T17:04:00.002+10:002009-05-13T17:07:03.687+10:00

Laws Concerning Food and DrinkHousehold PrinciplesLamentations of the Fatherby Ian Frazier, King-James-ized by Ian ChaiOf the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight thou mayest eat, but not in the living room. Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, thou mayest eat, but not in the living room. Of the cloven-hoofed animal,

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-5570147197334225652009-05-06T07:19:00.002+10:002009-05-06T07:22:23.728+10:00

This is a repost from DB's blog because its SO worth sharing.Anyone care to guess when the book was published? No sneaking going off and Googling the answer either...I was wrong by about 20 years.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-15869948176267597232009-04-29T10:37:00.001+10:002009-04-29T10:38:39.649+10:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-40389276027853998582009-04-23T15:28:00.002+10:002009-04-23T15:36:31.640+10:00

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day.Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.'Hello?''Is your daddy home?' he asked.'Yes,' whispered the small voice.May I talk with him?'The child whispered, 'No.'Surprised and wanting

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-20171603260234659492009-04-16T10:25:00.001+10:002009-04-16T10:27:18.740+10:00

I'd like to see more of these - if you are going to be disappointed, may as well have a laugh as well....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-47356352452599918102009-04-13T11:36:00.001+10:002009-04-13T11:37:46.753+10:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-33826300749146382142009-04-06T13:26:00.004+10:002009-04-06T13:33:18.454+10:00

More to the point, how on earth did it ever get to the prototype stage without someone saying "Hmmmm. I wonder if anyone would be willing to put their arm in this in the event of a real fire, and risk getting burnt to a cinder?"

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-52816611135953053102009-04-05T06:56:00.001+10:002009-04-05T06:57:56.954+10:00

This has to be the best explanation I've seen yet. You may have to go full screen on the presentation to read the writing...

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-62298242329914848752009-03-20T10:47:00.001+11:002009-03-20T10:49:29.441+11:00

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-2628932081715514732009-03-17T10:56:00.003+11:002009-03-17T10:58:12.116+11:00

Nigella's Way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.The Real Woman's Way: Just suck the ice-cream out of the bottom of the cone for goodness sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.Nigella's Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with your potatoes.The Real Woman's Way: Buy instant mash

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-6508483190107797402009-03-16T15:59:00.005+11:002009-03-16T16:02:26.314+11:00

...we have no choice but to fire Andre:

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-88300825610678867472009-03-14T08:29:00.001+11:002009-03-14T08:30:33.378+11:00

This is one of the most wonderful stories I think I've ever heard.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-17643505118093811952009-03-11T09:25:00.004+11:002009-03-11T09:30:26.702+11:00

...for you bachelors out there...This was simply too much of a time saver not to share it with you.1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.4. The cat will self agitate

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-69971110371044918662009-03-10T07:12:00.001+11:002009-03-10T07:12:51.266+11:00

This is kinda cool....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-14804320493570994032009-03-04T08:52:00.002+11:002009-03-04T08:53:29.130+11:00

...you'd get this.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-80012106335768544422009-03-02T10:42:00.002+11:002009-03-02T10:47:36.245+11:00

Newspaper headlines they wish they hadn't written....Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and DaughterThis one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert SaysNo,

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-56725984076162052342009-02-25T10:55:00.000+11:002009-02-25T10:56:01.970+11:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to do it.4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-51931352461659643262009-02-23T16:55:00.003+11:002009-02-23T17:11:44.255+11:00

Time recording is a vital part of project management as it goes to how much your project is costing - obviously the less time people record on your project the better, so its the PM's job to challenge every second being attributed.It is also vital for a range of other professional service delivery organisations, particularly the legal profession (which typically charges in 6 minute increments).

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-38860570318054900872009-02-20T12:02:00.001+11:002009-02-20T12:05:46.865+11:00

Its been a while - time to add another post....1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-24993994450572203002009-01-12T10:37:00.000+11:002009-01-12T10:38:18.139+11:00

The most valuable and least used word in a project manager's vocabulary is "NO."The same work under the same conditions will be estimated differently by ten different estimators, or by one estimator at ten different times.You can con a sucker into committing to an unreasonable deadline, but you can't bully him into meeting it.The more ridiculous the deadline, the more it costs to try to meet

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-29228498892077412152009-01-08T11:01:00.000+11:002009-01-08T11:03:09.332+11:00

This is a rather mesmerising game that's just the ticket for lolling about in the air conditioning when its too hot to go outside:Playauditorium

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-27414695209471718172008-12-22T10:03:00.003+11:002008-12-22T10:09:49.739+11:00

I've been fooling around with the new Google Apps environment which lets you develop and host web applications at Google. Its quite neat actually. And when I'm fooling around with a new development environment, I pull out the code for the old tried-and-true Pirate Curse Generator and adapt it to run there.So, albeit a bit late for Talk Like a Pirate day, here is my first attempt at world

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-71968904884371797232008-12-18T13:26:00.001+11:002008-12-18T13:28:08.070+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-80441093814535457942008-12-17T18:56:00.002+11:002008-12-17T18:57:44.156+11:00

...that's where this kid is headed:

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-27248456181901484062008-12-12T15:41:00.002+11:002008-12-12T15:44:02.353+11:00

He's towards the bottom on the left - click on the image to get the bigger one if you can't see him clearly....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-28819121722422558732008-12-06T16:36:00.005+11:002008-12-12T15:45:43.385+11:00

You may need to click on the image to see the larger version...

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-43566930853470185142008-11-27T08:12:00.001+11:002008-11-27T08:14:23.565+11:00

...for no reason I can readily explain:

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-86756928674096001852008-11-13T15:21:00.001+11:002008-11-13T15:23:00.724+11:00

...when your wife/girlfriend/significant other has work for you to do...

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-7282783635771564172008-11-12T13:59:00.003+11:002008-11-12T14:06:02.826+11:00

I inhertied the joy of puns from my father:---A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."---Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we'll never know for

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-4673007186660452542008-11-10T17:24:00.001+11:002008-11-10T17:26:22.881+11:00

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.2. Mostly to clean the house.3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.How did God make mothers?1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.3. God made my Mum just the same like he made

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-6645210672641022912008-10-31T10:05:00.003+11:002008-10-31T10:19:11.022+11:00

One of the people that work for me sent me this. Compulsary viewing for all women who don't understand what its like for a man to get sick.And here's what you women need to know about how to deal with the situation.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-78237430173725599472008-10-29T10:40:00.001+11:002008-10-29T10:42:06.286+11:00

So how many do you need to bake?Here's the answer....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-56313112570503611502008-10-12T08:37:00.002+11:002008-10-12T08:39:29.884+11:00

Speaking of clearing the denominator, this is math I can appreciate....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-18634013094249135222008-09-29T06:06:00.002+10:002008-09-30T06:26:49.653+10:00

Biz/Insom might like this one:UPDATE: More neat clocks.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-27145102497836152652008-09-19T14:47:00.002+10:002008-09-19T14:50:42.035+10:00

...talk like a pirate day.Many apologies to my loyal readers, both of them, for being absent for so long, I have been very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very VERY busy at work. But even that schedule had to make room for this.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-47168534198928700402008-08-16T10:40:00.000+10:002008-08-16T10:41:27.811+10:00

Now this is pretty cool. After a while your eye stops seeing how the effect is generated.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-57017053412423909812008-08-03T11:47:00.001+10:002008-08-03T11:48:34.390+10:00

This is pretty cool: a Lego robot that can solve a Rubix cube

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-40931982675007357702008-07-29T13:42:00.000+10:002008-07-29T13:43:40.167+10:00

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said toher, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on somemachine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull theplug."She got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.She's such a bitch.....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-55360301369116769192008-07-27T08:36:00.001+10:002008-12-09T10:11:53.143+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-40818271551795043412008-07-24T12:08:00.000+10:002008-07-24T12:09:28.139+10:00

A range of them here - but the Generation X clock is the busiest...

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-19824528444063223232008-07-23T12:19:00.002+10:002008-07-23T12:23:03.908+10:00

Diet Questions AnsweredQ: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.Q: Should I

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-15199783441831157902008-07-19T10:06:00.001+10:002008-12-09T10:11:53.326+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-19965843381981315972008-07-18T18:35:00.001+10:002008-12-09T10:11:53.466+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-37702586558318296862008-07-15T17:06:00.002+10:002008-07-15T17:25:14.473+10:00

This is one of those WTF?!? moments that occassionally make it into this blog:Strip Search of 13-Year-Old for Ibuprofen Ruled Unconstitutional While we don't have the equivalent constitutional protections here in OZ (around which much of the legal debate revolved), you can be sure that any school that decided to strip search my child - at ANY age - without me being present would have hell to pay

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-74993348117626253812008-07-14T16:18:00.002+10:002008-07-14T16:20:20.317+10:00

...the kid on the end gets:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpXlnZp29UMI wanna go! I wanna go!

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-2647321928223104862008-07-14T12:45:00.001+10:002008-07-14T12:46:27.819+10:00

Police halt 'mooning' of trains in Laguna Niguel after a crowd of 8,000 gather

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-89034190635042488932008-07-10T14:20:00.003+10:002008-12-09T10:11:53.892+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-82156723870959061182008-07-08T13:46:00.001+10:002008-07-08T13:48:02.671+10:00

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female.Here are some examples:FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-89675533849147462962008-07-07T16:23:00.002+10:002008-07-07T16:25:14.383+10:00

"I’m feeling quite gruntled and ritatable today, that because I think today will be full of asterous situations, although I cern the reasons why. However I’m profident that you feel the same way".And then there is:"First they came for the verbs, and I said nothing because verbing weirds language. Then they arrival for the nouns, and I speech nothing because I no verbs".

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-14765827301036851272008-07-04T17:32:00.003+10:002008-07-04T17:34:44.213+10:00

This is a bit neat.My effort is a message to our branch about the state of the budget for the next year....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-29673841223899143462008-07-03T07:52:00.003+10:002008-07-03T07:54:05.806+10:00

This prank provides a whole new approach to dealing with telemarketers if you have a bit of time to spare.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-48911955737055621032008-06-28T08:11:00.000+10:002008-06-28T08:13:00.887+10:00

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost $499 or $599 depending on cup size.This has been hailed as a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them...

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-59093715880778937392008-06-26T10:55:00.001+10:002008-06-26T10:59:05.962+10:00

...on the IT side of course....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-28254249001669521692008-06-17T17:26:00.001+10:002008-12-09T10:11:54.145+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-72210390369100048202008-06-05T17:23:00.003+10:002008-06-11T18:44:49.557+10:00

UPDATE: - Australian Kulcha demystified:1. You know the meaning of the word "girt".This is a reference to the National Anthem - "Our land is girt (surrounded) by sea"2. You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.Stubbies are a brand of working man's shorts and a type of beer bottle. A "Darwin stubbie" is a realy BIG style of beer bottle.3. You think it's normal to have a leader called

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-14158975745174918822008-05-29T15:58:00.001+10:002008-12-09T10:11:54.382+11:00

Now normally I wouldn't be brave enough to post something like this, but given it was sent to me by a real female IT Expert, I figure taking a free shot is in order....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-63298434645239471432008-05-25T13:24:00.003+10:002008-12-09T10:11:54.541+11:00

I love 'em! More here....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-60619517332657697152008-05-25T09:34:00.000+10:002008-05-25T09:36:00.253+10:00

...if there wasn't guys, jet engines, and some spare time.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-46608602152131014472008-05-22T14:27:00.005+10:002008-12-09T10:11:55.155+11:00

Tim Nobel and Sue Webster take piles of trash and make art into them... but sometimes the art isn't apparent until you see it in a different light.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-80456204190056978132008-05-19T09:52:00.003+10:002008-05-19T09:55:01.233+10:00

More from my son's homework. What is the missing number and why:2 2 2 22 6 10 142 10 26 502 14 50 ?

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-88460002863234283582008-05-18T08:38:00.001+10:002008-05-18T08:40:47.429+10:00

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date."Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?""Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite.""OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?""Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."Undaunted, the little girl asks, "

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-81691832142153217262008-05-15T16:13:00.002+10:002008-12-09T10:11:55.285+11:00

Dear all,Kindly note that I will not be able to respond to any emails today.Something has crashed on my computer, and I can’t find my mouse!!!

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-18892628797349444072008-05-12T17:24:00.002+10:002008-12-09T10:11:55.370+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-13200465709649900622008-05-10T12:10:00.001+10:002008-05-10T12:11:41.612+10:00

"Great tits cope well with warming"

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-60767045460515348342008-05-06T09:08:00.002+10:002008-05-06T09:15:27.359+10:00

Paddy and Mick find themselves out of work.Paddy goes into the unemployment agency and tells the clerk that he's a knicker stitcher - he sews the elastic onto women's knickers. The clerk looks up the job category and sees that it ranks as unskilled labour, and pays Paddy 80 pounds unemployment benefits and sends him on his way.Then Mick goes in. He tells the clerk that he's a diesel fitter.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-39404819500670555902008-05-04T08:00:00.000+10:002008-05-04T08:01:24.179+10:00

There is something that fascinates me about sand art.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-18024314973178283572008-05-02T11:03:00.004+10:002008-05-02T11:13:30.655+10:00

# 2 son was working through his year 7 maths homework. He said: "Dad, how do I do this one?"He was being asked to divide various object up into fifths by drawing lines on the provided objects:1) A rectangel. No problem, measure the long side (50), divide by five (10) and draw in the lines every 10 units.2) A circle. A bit harder, divide 360 degrees by five (72) and draw the lines out from the

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-73600526696724304802008-05-02T11:00:00.000+10:002008-05-02T11:02:46.942+10:00

...about some parents.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-1138442382347588152008-04-29T07:04:00.003+10:002008-12-09T10:11:55.562+11:00

Can I go back to bed until it warms up? Also note that the idiot pixie STILL doesn't have gloves on. Probably left them in his locker at school. Well, he'll just have to learn.....

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-22999777167113059482008-04-28T16:49:00.002+10:002008-04-28T16:51:42.719+10:00

Finally, a video explaining the difference in terms we can all understand.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-14818907214078338892008-04-28T06:53:00.002+10:002008-12-09T10:11:55.746+11:00

My pixie looked like this at about 7am this morning:I think its safe to conclude that winter has finally arrived. At least THIS pixie has the enough sense to have both a coat and gloves on.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-72130949334346987472008-04-25T07:40:00.000+10:002008-04-25T07:42:09.957+10:00

...that managed to slip past the editor.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-82600354118427797662008-04-24T08:24:00.002+10:002008-04-24T08:28:53.612+10:00

To plan and schedule a project effectively, the project manager identifies the following elements:Goal, objective, and expectations of the project, collectively called the scope. When the project is particularly hairy and the goals are hazy, this is called the horror-scope; it can only be established by supernatural means.Required activities, such as luncheons, teas, farewell parties, drinks with

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-88573260971527053412008-04-23T12:20:00.002+10:002008-04-23T12:22:54.072+10:00

Its ANZAC day this Friday, the day Australia commenorates its servicemen. I was sent this poem which I think is wonderful:The Anzac on the WallI wandered thru a country town 'cos I had time to spare,And went into an antique shop to see what was in there.Old Bikes and pumps and kero lamps, but hidden by it all,A photo of a soldier boy - an Anzac on the Wall."The Anzac have a name?" I asked. The

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-6522369479037130802008-04-21T11:51:00.002+10:002008-04-21T11:54:16.595+10:00

The interviewer hands you a black pen and says nothing but "This pen is red."Okaaaaaay......My response would have been "So you're colour blind, right?". One of the people at work suggested that if the interviewer was a woman, the correct response would be "Yes, Dear".

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-42310605710370377282008-04-20T13:37:00.002+10:002008-04-20T13:38:41.341+10:00

I've sacked the old weather pixie as he was getting as slovenly as I look on a Sunday morning.

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-45076409731873724802008-04-18T15:31:00.002+10:002008-04-18T15:33:15.133+10:00

This is an extract from a test to become a Microsoft employee:There are 4 women who want to cross a bridge. They all begin on the same side. You have 17 minutes to get all of them across to the other side. It is night. There is one flashlight. A maximum of two people can cross at one time. Any party who crosses, either 1 or 2 people, must have the flashlight with them. The flashlight must be

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-11818699368816785122008-04-16T15:07:00.001+10:002008-04-16T15:09:53.429+10:00

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this:On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson ~ Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favourite

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-63833319853932949722008-04-15T07:46:00.001+10:002008-12-09T10:11:55.975+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-60081759257297753722008-04-12T09:24:00.002+10:002008-04-12T09:32:04.725+10:00

My first experiment with video...

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-9649784104703336412008-04-11T09:28:00.001+10:002008-04-11T09:31:06.992+10:00

This really works:1) Put your friend/girlfriend/wife, whoever, and your dog into the trunk of a car for an hour.2) When you open the trunk and let them out, who is the happiest to see you?

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-26562685501309598712008-04-10T17:44:00.003+10:002008-12-09T10:11:56.301+11:00

...servicing printers in the Australian bush - venomous snakes:

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9197400.post-91015010182302656682008-04-09T14:37:00.002+10:002008-12-09T10:11:56.440+11:00

wysiwyghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07774972796991945948noreply@blogger.com1