A Pirate, tell a lightbulb joke, eat beer chips, and... MJ's oil?

Hey, sorry if you prefer these to be individual emails, but I suffer from an acute case of a rare disease doctors have just recently made up but you probably have anyway, called 'laziness'. And sorry if my subject line caused mental image overload...

Ripley's Talk Like A Pirate Contest

"Hey, how many dead cow skulls does it take to screw in a light- Oh, you've heard this one already?" You must have gone here: Definitive Collection of Lightbulb Jokes So Far Known

Finally, there is peace! Beer-Battered Fries unite beer and chips

Breaking news on the MJ trial: They're getting desperate for a defense: Neverland's Crude Secret


Seriously,
Marvin Paranoid Android