Friday, December 11, 2009

The Man Rules

These are our rules!

Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
FIRST & FOREMOST RULE

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do..
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself..

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Cricket.

1.. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

18 Comments:

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At 7:57 AM, Anonymous insomniac said...

from "scrubs" :another man rule...

Carla: Turk, the night we got engaged, you said you couldn't wait to have kids.

Turk: How can you hold that against me? You were naked!

Carla: So I should just disregard everything you say when I'm naked?

Turk: You know, that's not actually a bad idea? We can call it The Naked Rule; and it should probably apply retroactively, so, um, you can get yourself to the airport next weekend?

Carla: Fine.

Turk: Gotta love The Naked Rule!

 
At 10:48 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Christobol is at it again.

Website:
http://www.thechristoblog.com

 
At 3:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

人應該做自己認為對的事,而不是一味跟著群眾的建議走。 ..................................................

 
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This is the kind of list that gets posted just before the man is found dead. LOL j/k

 
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