The Duck

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich.

The landlord looks at him and says, "But you're a duck!"

"Your eyes work", replies the duck, wryly.

"And you talk!" exclaims the landlord.

"And your ears", says the duck.

"Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly", says the landlord, "sorry about that... it's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road", explains the duck.

The landlord watches, astounded, as the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. The duck visits regularly for 2 weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The owner of the circus comes into the pub and the landlord says to him, "You're with the circus aren't you? I know this duck that would be just brilliant in your circus - he talks, drinks beer and everything!".

"Sounds marvellous", says the owner, "get him to give me a call".

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the landlord says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"

"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"

"At the circus", says the landlord.

"The circus?", the duck enquires, a bit bemused.

"That's right", replies the landlord.

"What, the place with the big tent? Big canvas roof, hole in the middle, loads of animals?" asks the duck.

"That's right!", says the landlord

The duck looks confused. "Why would they want a plasterer?"