Friday, February 03, 2006

Why Did God Make Mothers and other questions

Courtesy of one of my sisters:

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?
1.We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

4 Comments:

At 10:20 AM, Blogger Sarah O. said...

This is TOO funny! I laughed so much it started to hurt.

1. Thanks for posting this.

2. Kids are THE BEST.

 
At 4:25 AM, Blogger Sarah O. said...

Off topic:

1. Oh, how my heart bleeds for you in your 90 degree heat! We currently have subzero wind chills. :-)

2. Do you use celcius down under?

3. Thanks for the Urban Words! It's nice to not always sound like a dopey housewife.

 
At 1:43 PM, Blogger wysiwyg said...

I think I've got the hang of you now Scat - you have a senior executive's brain. That is to say you have (as you have already admitted) the attention span of a gnat.

You therefore:

1) prefer punchy sentences.

2) few syllables

3) think TV sound bites are great; and

2) prefer numbering thoughts for easy future reference

5) which is an absolute pain for people trying to write for you

42) because you have to keep editing them as you add, delete and change things.

Whereas I'm rather more a chatty "its the journey not the destination" sort of a person.

Senior executives are also, in my experience, pedantic beyond the pale. In fact my observation is that the more senior the person, the more pedantic they are. As a consequence, a senior manager is more likely to take you to task for a misplaced comma than they are if you were to call them a self-serving nazi to their face.

I of course don't know about that last bit with respect to you,
so let me just say:

1) poor baby.

1a) try sweating to death while trying to get to sleep

1b) particularly at 4am in the morning

2) yes.

3) my pleasure.

 
At 5:59 PM, Blogger Sarah O. said...

Oh, wys, you know me too well! I was a senior executive suddenly turned new mommy to a darling little girl who (a)never stopped yelling her precious head off and (b)never slept.

I quickly realized that she was just like a client. So I treated her like one. No child has been humored more than she.

Pedantic? You should see my Hubby. He makes me look like a spaced out hippy. Actually, I admire spaced out hippies.

I do feel for your hot nights. Not only am i pedantic, I'm a self-serving problem solver. Get an air conditioner, for heaven's sake!

Finally, like any good senior executive, I'm sickeningly self promoting. Please revisit my blog as I have a new posting and a very, very pedantic hit counter. With which I am obsessed!

 

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