Ponderisms....
- Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
posted by wysiwyg @ 8:44 AM
13 comments
13 Comments:
*ponders*
Who comes up with this stuff?
Oh, dear, wys. I couldn't sleep at all last night pondering. Or maybe my old brain just isn't up to the task.
Hmm...I just realized that the difference between "pondering" and "wondering" is the first letter in each word.
1. When are we getting our next Cookie story fix?
2. Whoa. You're getting RAIN! I didn't think your Canberrans (?) ever needed brollies.
3. What day is it in Canberra, anyway? Thursday the 30th?
4. Did Her Majesty have a nice stay Down Under?
1. When I (a) stop working such long hours, and (b) feel in a creative writing mood, as opposed to complete mush like I do at the moment. Could be a week or more from the look of things.
2) Yes it rains here. Not often enough as we would like having just been through a big drought. Neat that the pixie picked up on that.
3) Generally one day ahead of you - so your Wednesday evening is my Thursday lunchtime, plus or minus daylight saving.
4) I have no idea. As an ex-American I'd probably consider myself rather more of a republican. If I ever thought about. Which I don't. Bottom line: I have about zero interest in Royal watching.
oh, i guess the cartoon writers just assumed y'all knew that eating roadrunner makes you immortal as well as a sexual dynamo...
1. All right, wys, I'll grant you an extension. Just this once.
2. You're an ex-American? Jeez, I'm always the last to know these things. When? Where? Because you're busy I'll demand only the basics. You may write a colorful essay next week. Due Friday morning (yours) 10 a.m. SHARP!
I had an Ozzie friend who transferred to Chicago. He lasted 2 years. He said that American companies were too demanding and made him work too hard. No way, I say. I mean, my kids need to see Dad only a few hours every couple of weeks, right? In America, kids see their dads more if their parents are divorced than married.
So my Ozzie friend was in the seafood business. He had this FABULOUS shrimp at his going back to Australia party...
1. That's good, 'cos I was taking one anyway ;oP
2. Yep. Born in Virginia near Washington DC. Left the US with the family at age 9 to tour the world (my father had just retired), and settled in Oz just after my 10th brithday. Been here ever since, apart from a few quick trips back to the US for work in the early 80's.
2a. Yep, life is MUCH cruizier here in Oz. Here it is only about 6:30pm on a Friday, and with luck I'll get home before my kids ask their mother once again: "Mom, who is my Daddy?".
2b. Its "prawn". "Shrimp" refers to small weedy guys who get sand kicked in their face. And yes, prawns are a staple food at Oz BBQ lunches in summer - and fairly cheap as well, perhaps $AU15-$20 per kilo on average for decent sized ones. But I'll have to leave it to you to do the conversion math, I still have to figure out how to get the project budget to stretch to cover all the unexpected expenses the thrice-cursed project team keep coming up with. Luckily I have one or two "hollow logs" to draw down on....
1. I am very impressed that you make your Answer scat's Dopey Questions deadline with hours to spare! Good show!
2. You've done a fine job picking up the Oz accent! We lived on the Maryland side of DC for 8 years. I was always jealous of the Virginia burbs. They're really nice.
3. We yanks like to think that Australians live like the rest of the world thinks Californians live: Very relaxed without a care in the world. Bummer that you're as stressed out as us. (I always suspected that my Aussie friend was a bit of a lazy bugger.)
4. Ah, prawn. Somehow, "Throw another prawn on the barbie" just doesn't sound right.
5. Just curious. What does "Luckily I have one or two "hollow logs" to draw down on" mean? I understand American business-ese but you've stumped me (ha ha ha) on this one.
1. I'm pleased that you're impressed!
2. I had all vestages of my US accent drilled out of me by age 13. Peer group pressure of course.
3. I'm stressed out by Oz standards. I can't imagine what being stressed out by American standards must be like.
4. No, "throw another shrimp on the barbie" sounds wrong.
5. A "hollow log" is a budget line item with more money attached to it than you actually need for the stated activity. When you overspend in some other area, you can arrange to stay budget neutral by adjusting the estimate for the hollow log back towards the actual amount you need, and up the estimate in the area experiencing the overrun.
Incorporating hollow logs in your budget estimates is an artform, because the people with the money are on the lookout for you doing it, and will strip them out of your budget if they spot them.
My preferred technique is to load everything by about 20% so that there is no one area that looks suspicious.
Thanks wys. I almost have closure.
Ugh, I used to have to juggle different clients' budgets, too. It was really stressful because our way too accurate accounting practices made it very easy for client to figure out bill padding.
For instance, good clients like Glidden Paint were so easily pleased that we rarely used up all their hours. But nightmare clients like Kmart (stupid and arrogant) always took way more hours than they'd pay for.
Budgets drove me nuts. Frankly, I was happy when we moved to DC and I couldn't find a job!
How about throw another Barbie on the barbie?
or throw (nazi war criminal Klaus)Barbie on the barbie?
Speaking of Barbies, which it appears we now are, there is a new cartoon about to start over here.
Its called something like "Barbie's diary" or some such featuring the exploits of Barbie and her friends in middle school. It is one of those high quality animations that obviously a lot of time and effort has gone into producing. Although WHY anyone would devote that level of time and attention, I have no idea.
I plan to gouge my eyes out in case I accidentally walk into the room when its on.
Mind you, I think my boys would gouge their eyes out rather than watch it, so I expect I'm fairly safe.
At least until Barbie enters the military, becomes a commando, and starts blowing up things.
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