Thursday, July 19, 2007

AAADD - the dangers of multi-tasking

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,
and see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail...

Do me a favour.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!


At 11:28 AM, Blogger Sarah O. said...

wys, my old pal!

Truth is, I've - temporarily - all but abandoned the internet over the past two months. Don't get me wrong, I still love the internet and all my internet friends dearly. It's just that (a) my old computer, which has my list o' faves, has been packed away in some mysterious moving box for two months (b) With one careless keystroke (and possibly a premature senior moment), I deleted my template (my web designer seems to have disappeared) and (c) moving a thousand miles (to a suburb of Denver, Claire Martin's town!) has surely shaken me out of my very, very deep rut.

You know you're old when you look forward to settling into a brand new rut.

Interesting that you mentioned goldfish eating their late companions. I was going to mention how, at a tender young age, I came home from school to find my three surviving goldfish chowing down on an ex-goldfish. I'm pretty sure that event marked the official end of my fascination with goldfish.

You know, you'd think the high maintenance I, too, developed for personalityless, cannibalistic quasi-pets would have killed my desire to have parent-approved pets. But no.

Anyhoo, I should get around to writing about Mr. Lemony's & my desire to move from a big, fancy house in a ladida suburb to a much smaller, rather fancy house in a "nice" burb a thousand miles away. It's been pretty cool and I've only yelled at my family a dozen or so times.

Got to go. Let me know how you're surviving the winter!


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