Friday, February 02, 2007

Definitions of Designations in an IT business

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3) On-site Coordinator is one who thinks a single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

And lastly.................

9) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby

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As a Project Manager by profession, I of course take offence to the first one - only a junior PM would think such a thing. In reality the PM is handed some BS atrifical business requirement to deliver a baby in one month with 9 resources (assuming resource optimisation hasn't caught up to him yet).

So what does he do? He puts the best face he can on the situation through constant optimistic reporting during the nine month unavoidable delay ("No, we haven't got the baby yet, but things are looking much more promising than they were last month"), and claiming a remarkable success when he delivers 9 times the expected output.

Tricks of the trade, children, just tricks of the trade...

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