Thursday, December 16, 2004

A small lesson... Christmas party political correctness.

And now, for a few scientific facts...

...about what Santa has to deal with while delivering Christmas presents.

And a Poem for the Blogettes

...written by a sister, presumably after taking the advice provided in tip 6 of that previous post:

Christmas Treats

Important Holiday Eating Tips

are located here....

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

20 Ways to Stay Sane

20 ways to stay sane:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In Box."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For special favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Hard"?

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives! They're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity:

20. Send this E-Mail to someone to make them smile...its called therapy!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Aren't guys great?

Without them, something like this would never have been thought of, let alone built.

More warning signs

...for when you travel by air.

Terrorist Signs

In these uncertain times, you need to be able to react quickly. Be sure to memorise the meanings of these important terrorist signs...