Friday, April 28, 2006

Ten years ago today...

Sorry to be maudelin twice in quick succession, but today marks the 10th anniversary of the Port Arthur Massacre.

This event was truely shocking to Australians. It was unbelieveable, and tragic, and unecessary. The shock it presented our society was not dissimilar to 911 in the US.

It was perhaps because of that reaction that the Government was able to pass some of the world's toughest gun control laws in the world. The vast majority of Australian's agreed: we just don't need even semi-automatic weapons in the hands of the average citizen, and if you have some valis reason to have a gun (eg you are a farmer or a sporting gun enthusiast), you are required to store and use the weapon in a highly specified and controlled manner (eg. separate storage of the gun action from the gun itself, in appropriately secure and strong storage containers).

And what's more, Australians agreed to PAY (via a short term increase in one of the broad-based taxes) for the "Gun Buyback" scheme that was designed to reimburse people owning newly illegal firearms for handing them in.

Funny thing was, there was WAY more opposition to that scheme from overseas (principly from US based pro-gun organisations) than there ever was here. But then that was possibly, because we already had a degree of gun control already in place, that the step up to the current controls didn't seem too dramatic.

I was born an American, and at the age of six or seven was an NRA "sharpshooter" with a .22, and I still have the medals and certificates to show for it. When I arrived in Australia at the age of 10, I was suprised that not only was I not allowed to own a rifle, I wasn't allowed to even fire it - I had to wait until I was 16 to join a local gun club. I gave up owning a rifle in my mid-twenties when the laws surrounding gun ownership were tightened to the point where it became both expensive and a pain to own one.

It felt weird at the time I sold my last rifle, but 25 years on I find myself grateful for the regulation and the very strict attitude our society has towards guns. I'm grateful that my children will likely never handle any sort of weapon more lethal than those they employ in their computer games. I'm grateful that, even though I may be unfortunate enough to be caught up in some form of suburban violence, I'm more likely to be beaten to a pulp than shot dead out of hand by some drunken idiot who'll "regret" his actions the next day. Because it will be of no comfort to me or my family that the perp gets life in prison for his actions.

Any more than it is of any comfort to the family members of the victims of Martin Bryant 10 years ago.

In Memorium, that may we never be faced with such event ever again.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Lest We Forget

ANZAC Day from the Australian War Memorial
ANZAC Day from the Aussie Slang Dictionary
The ANZAC Spirit

"They shall not grow old,
As we that are left grow old.
Age shall not weary them,
Nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun,
And in the morning,
We will remember them. "

For the Fallen, by Laurence Binyon

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Please wait.....

Men's Rules (that women should know)

Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present . . . . again!

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know, it's like camping.

The "ooops" list...

...of interesting photos.

A fun thing

Flower garden creator

Lies, damned lies....

...and statistics.

Just for Leetie....

THIS link.

"Its a funny thing about the ketchup bottle....

....First none will come and then a lot'll"

Ogden Nash

Well, finally, here's how to get ketchup out of the bottle.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Think your stressed?

#27 finally explains my reaction to those meetings that are stuffed with idiots and take forever - I'm just stressed, not hungry.....


You Know You're Too Stressed If...

1. Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you should get some rest.

2. You can achieve a "Runners High" by sitting up.

3. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

4. The Sun is too loud.

5. Trees begin chasing you.

6. You can see individual air molecules vibrating.

7. You begin to explore the possibility of setting up an I.V. drip solution of espresso.

8. You wonder if brewing is really a necessary step in the consumption of coffee.

9. You can hear mimes.

10. You believe that if you think hard enough, you can fly.

11. Things become "Very Clear."

12. You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.

13. You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.

14. You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you have said it before.

15. You keep yelling "STOP TOUCHING ME!" even though you are the only one in the room.

16. Your heart beats in 7/8 time.

17. David Lynch comes up to you and says: "Hey! Can I film you?"

18. You and Reality file for divorce.

19. You can skip without a rope.

20. It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.

21. You have great revelations concerning: Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow disappears, leaving you more confused than before.

22. You can travel without moving.

23. Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.

24. You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.

25. You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the rest of the night.

26. Teddy bears begin to bully you for milk and cookies.

27. You have an irresistible urge to bite the noses of the people you are talking to.

Monday, April 03, 2006

Urban Dictionary

Two new words that made me snicker, because they are so apt:

Wrap Rage