Thursday, March 31, 2005

Barfing Babies

This is not a site for the weak of heart (or stomache for that matter), but its guaranteed to bring a smile to the face of any parent (it wasn't them that got barfed on), and serves as a warning to prospective parents of what's in store.

Some of the expressions (on both the babies and their handlers) are priceless....

Barfing Babies

Monday, March 28, 2005

I just discovered your blog

I love it!!!...

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Yahoo! Small Business - Try our new resources site!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Things You Wish You Could Say at Work...

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a fuck.
3. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?
4. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
5. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
6. Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
7. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
8. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
10 Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
11. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
12. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
13. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
14. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
15. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
16. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
17. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
18. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
19. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
20. No, my powers can only be used for good.
21. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.
22. You sound reasonable.......time to up my medication.
23. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
24. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
25. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
26. Who me! I just wander from room to room.
27. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

For those with CRS...

...thanks to Neo (the world famous Google image finder), the answer may lie here.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Pun Intended

I love puns, the more they make you groan, the better. I got that from my Dad. These are courtesy of Crash:

#1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."

#2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!"

#3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

#4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The
other says "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive!."

#5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

#6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing
in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about
an hour the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't
stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

#7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes
to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of
himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her
husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

#8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened
up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy
flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the
competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but
they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They
ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest
and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up
the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't
close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh
can prevent florist friars.

#9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate
very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him ..... (Oh, man, this is so bad,
it's good).....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

#10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them
laugh. No pun in ten did.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Upside Down Typing

Now that leetspeak has been discovered by parents, upside down typing has been invented.

This site allows you translate or decrypt a message:

¡s!y+ Jo +no ×c!× e +ab +yb!w a!+aa7 ×u!y+ I

Really cool if you have NOTHING better to do with your life!

Age Guage

For the geezers amongst us, this site tells you how old you were at the time various things happened.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005


Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions
to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate
meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your Soul
flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Thanks to Slyeyes...

Videos of Stuff Being Shredded

There is just something...hypnotic...about this site.

Thanks this time to the Dave Barry Blog (and Judi's son)

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Glossary of Perversion

THIS site is the answer to all those situation s where someone has made a reference to something you suspect is perverted, but don't have a clue what they are talking about.

*** Warning: Its fairly explicit in places.

Thanks to Brian B.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Mechanical Chicken Catcher

This item courtesy of Gizmodo:

"For our readers of farming stock, “Life just got easier,” thanks to Bright Coop’s new E-Z Catch Chicken Harvester. Essentially a vacuum for chickens, this device sucks the wayward birds into its clutches to be quickly filed away into their open coop. The Harvester features adjustable rotating drums, allowing compensation for chickens of all sizes. Bright Coop goes the extra mile with a wholly disturbing video of their Harvester in action. Watch as the operator mows over dozens of chickens and sends them back to their coops, relatively intact. "

Now if we could just get something like that for getting the kids into the car.....


An oldie but still a goody - inventive re-interpretations of airline warning signs

(Thanks to Mike "Mad's Dork" Weasel)

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Petals Around the Rose

A neat little puzzle that has the potential to annoy the crap out of you.

But on the bright side, even Bill Gates struggled to get it.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Oz Science - Advancing every day....

Kangaroo poo paper....

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Finally, science working on the important stuff

...Bud Light commercial featuring a permanently steaming cup of coffee that makes it look like you're at work when you aren't...

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

For those that find themselves bored...