Thursday, July 19, 2007

AAADD - the dangers of multi-tasking

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
since I'm going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,
and see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where

I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,
but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,
and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it,
but first I'll check my e-mail...

Do me a favour.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
Don't laugh - if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Newsletter comment

This, from the (female) editor of an IBM developer newsletter of all things. I love the "Not the face" reference:


The question on everyone's mind lately -- a question that has the entire country waiting with bated breath to know the answer -- is can David Beckham do what no soccer mom in this country has accomplished so far: can he instil a love of soccer in childless couples and people over 12?

This is an enormous burden for one man even if he is married to a Spice Girl (who, by the way, will be touring worldwide at the end of 2007). Can he rise above being just another sport-celebrity-style icon to do for American soccer what Brian Boitono did for men's figure skating? Sure, he may grace the covers of Sports Illustrated and W magazine, but does he have enough girl power to win over a country full of baseball, football, basketball, and figure skating fans?

Many speculate why Americans don't watch soccer: we didn't invent it; it's a low scoring game; there's no commercial sponsorship; and so on. Personally, I think the real reason is that we can't fathom a game in which a ball is kicked at your head and you aren't allowed to throw your hands up and scream, "Not the face!" I don't know how David Beckham does it.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Good Advice

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Get a LIFE....

...has no meaning for these people. Eggselent effect though.