LOVE the ending on this

Harry Potter Puppets

Things Men Should Know...

...about the things women say:

Fine:

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes:

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing:

This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

Go Ahead:

This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh:

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.

That's Okay:

This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks:

A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

Whatever:

Is a women's way of saying F#@K You.

Don't worry about it, I got it:

Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

And for those new...

...to speaking like a pirate, a primer:

How to Talk Like a Pirate

Top Ten Pickup Lines...

For International Talk Like A Pirate Day:

10. Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.